There are many reasons why marriages go the way they do… as a man, I can give an
insight for success for the years to come. 1) A man must realize that a successful
enduring marriage takes a lifetime of love and labor as he is the head of the household
and will be held accountable for all things. However, 2) the most important thing for
every man must never forget (and that will be impossible… because) it is your wife that
is the neck that turns the head. * A key is that both of you must be willing to give 100%
of your 50%, to make the marriage run smoothly, especially through the challenging
times which will come from time to time. “As said, a happy wife is a happy life.”
An example: Have you ever slept wrong and woke up with a crick in your neck? If you
have, then you know how easily you can turn your head in the morning … The truth is
you can’t do it very easily as the neck is inflamed. So too, it will be with your wife, and
lest you forget, women possess an eidetic memory and, when she is inflamed or
incensed over something… (Don’t worry you will get the understanding sooner or later.)
It is said, an elephant never forgets… Well, that is nothing compared to a wife, you will
see it is not just the elephant that never forgets because in the years to come, even 50
years from now. 1) Your Bride today will remind you of (the thing(s) you said or did
along your journey in life together in the ensuing years to come. So too, the number 2)
thing is to love each other with your whole heart, have faith in each other, and give
100% fidelity to your marriage. The third 3) the most important thing in marriage is that
you both should do for yourself, and for your spouse. Each of you must learn to forgive
each other each day because… ~Psalms 127:1 “Except the LORD build the house, they
labor in vain that build it”… Love, faithfulness, laughter, and forgiveness is a major
component of that process in building your home and life together and God is about
forgiveness and joy. So, let go and move on together. Just realize that you are both
going to get under each other’s skin now and then. Marriage is a commitment of life, just
never give up, but press on, laugh often, and move on in your life together.
As stated, some women will never forget certain things their spouse does or doesn’t do.
Ask your dad about this and he will verify this truth about your mom (she never forgets
unless she chooses to). That in the years to come, rest assured, the things you say, do,
or did today or along the way, your bride today, is your wife in the future and she will
remind you of those things one way or another. By the way, that means “everything”, so
expect it! She will, in fact, be more than willing to demonstrate the incredible memory
she has by reminding you occasionally that everything you say, do, or will do, you will
be held accountable for both the good, the bad, and the ugly in the court of her logic,
When it comes to activities, relationships, and your marriage, it’s important to be mindful of how you communicate. Children, the offspring of your union, remember everything you say and do. They hold on to both the good and the promises, but most notably, they remember the hurtful things said to them. These memories linger in the background of your marriage until they are addressed, often in moments like “We need to talk.”
To gain insights into creating a successful marriage, consider the experiences of couples who have embraced both the good times and the challenges over the years. Karen D. and Dick Argon, who are celebrating 42 years of a successful marriage, offer a valuable perspective through their “What if and WOW” approach to problem-solving. Karen has a Ph.D., and Dick is a successful businessman; together, they have built a wonderful life.
In fact, Karen states, “I cannot recall a time when we have had an hour-long disagreement. We make it a point to listen to each other’s individual thoughts.” She describes their dynamic: “Dick will come up with an idea, and I respond with a ‘WOW.’ Then I might ask, ‘What if we…?’” This prompts a collaborative discussion, and they both contribute ideas: “Wow, I think we could… or let’s change this or do that instead. What do you think?” Through this exchange, they continually build upon each other’s thoughts.
We could continue discussing our ideas, wants, or desires until we reached exactly what we wanted together. It’s amazing how the concept of “What if” has worked for us over the years. We have seldom, if ever, had arguments about things like that. Ideas come up all the time, and we exchange them safely, knowing that we will work out the details on the “What if” platform of our lives together. This approach has transformed our lives from two individuals into one cohesive unit bonded by love—a bond I have not seen in many other marriages. In other words, we can say that “What if” has changed our lives; it is amazing and wonderful in every respect.
This doesn’t mean we don’t have disagreements, but we can safely say that they usually lead us back to the “What if” discussions in our lives together. Ron and Linda Ellen have been together for almost 62 years. Linda states that the key to their successful marriage is that they love each other and genuinely like and respect one another.
You will notice that liking each other is a crucial element in the success of their marriage—or any marriage. To understand what this truly means, consider an example from a movie: Years ago, in the 1960s, Jimmy Stewart starred in a film called “Shenandoah.” In one scene, his daughter is getting married to a young soldier. As the father, Stewart asks the young man, “Do you like her?” The young man responds, “Well, I love her!” Stewart rebuffs him and clarifies, “That’s not what I asked. I asked, ‘Do you like her?’” He then provides a great answer to that question. I encourage you to watch the movie to see how this conversation unfolds.
be glad you did it has some great insights for family, as well as good entertainment.
value.] Linda goes on and says, “We like and respect each other and have fun.
together which makes every day of our lives together fun with lots of laughs. In addition
to that, every day of our almost 62 years is perfect for us. We never go to bed angry and
will stay up all night until we resolve our differences, it is amazing how exhaustion.
allows one to make compromises. The key here is the “agreement” in that once
compromised and resolved, the issue can never be brought up again, it is settled. Lots
of kisses in front of the kids and when alone, laughter, and compliments given to each
other freely, truthfully, and faithfully.” Ron agrees wholeheartedly… Linda also adds …
“Through it all, we can confidently say that our marriage is a miracle. We have 5
children, 14 grandchildren and 5 of them are married and they have given us 3 great-
grandchildren too. You just cannot get things much better than that, it is worth every
minute of our agreement and disagreement to have the best in life as we have had. We
have worked hard through the years and faced the trials, heartaches, and hardships of
life together. We persevered through the hard times so that now our later years are
favoring us. Every day for us is a blessing and we enjoy our marriage and lives
together.”
John and Nancy Pauole are heading into 46 years and the key to their
marriage is: “That when you and your spouse get into a disagreement,
and it becomes a fight! So that when, it is all said and done. You need to forgive each other, and makeup!”
“So that, when you go to bed together you say, ‘I Love You” to each other. Then talk
with each other heart to heart, come to an understanding of the other’s point of view
about things and really discuss why you are fighting in the first place. Then forgive and
love each other and be best friends always and don’t keep arguing over the same
things. Once it is done, let it stay done.
By Chaplain Zane Mortimer
